That Mommy Quiz

I am taking the Mommy Quiz you've probably already seen floating around the blog world. I decided to share since it did not say 'parent you don't want in your play group' or 'mom that really needs a new profession'....

Your type is: ISFJ —The “Tender Loving Care” Mother

“I want my children to feel they have an ally, someone who knows them completely. I want to be a haven for them.”

Gentle and kind, the ISFJ mother provides her children with generous amounts of tenderness, affection, and the comfort of daily routine. Her aim is to “be there” for her children, physically and emotionally. She is sensitive to their feelings, offering closeness, understanding, and quiet support.
Loyal and devoted, the ISFJ mother has a strong sense of duty and consistently puts her children’s needs first. She delights in taking care of the little things that matter to a child, making each one feel loved and special.
To provide her family with security and warmth, the ISFJ mother tends to the practical and domestic, aiming for a smooth-running household and an attractive home. She also observes and conveys the value and importance of family traditions.

A lot of this is true and I'll be blunt, some is not. I am firm believer in not being my child's friend. My kids can go down the street and find a friend. I am a mother. I am here for guidance and support. It is important for them to see the big picture and feel the consequences of a mistake. Yes, I do want to always be a haven for them but I think there are times they need to fail in order to be a real success. My best example of these points would be Miley and a recent history test. Miley attends a school that pushes lots of memorization for the grammar school years. She has a list of some historical events and dates she needs to memorize (building up to almost 40 events by then end of the year). Usually before the test, she writes out all the dates, then she does a 'puzzle' with the events and dates, and then she takes a mock quiz from me. One time, Miley told me she already knew it and did not need to study in my fashion. I knew she had a pretty good grade at this point so I told her she could do all the studying on her own on one condition. If she got below an 80, she would have to study my way no complaining allowed. On test day, I resisted every temptation to orally quiz her on the drive to school. And when I picked her up, I didn't even have to ask how she did--it was on her face. A 62--that is a low D, almost failing. A hard pill to swallow for a girl who usually aces the timeline tests.  A friend would not have let her fail, she would have done everything in her power to help, no matter what, to make her friend happy. I am not her friend.  I wanted Miley to know you need to work hard to succeed--you don't just get an A for showing up. Yes, I still hugged her and wiped the tears over the test, but now she takes studying seriously (at least she did for the rest of this year!).