Wednesday, May 28, 2008

That Mommy Quiz

I am taking the Mommy Quiz you've probably already seen floating around the blog world. I decided to share since it did not say 'parent you don't want in your play group' or 'mom that really needs a new profession'....

Your type is: ISFJ —The “Tender Loving Care” Mother

“I want my children to feel they have an ally, someone who knows them completely. I want to be a haven for them.”

Gentle and kind, the ISFJ mother provides her children with generous amounts of tenderness, affection, and the comfort of daily routine. Her aim is to “be there” for her children, physically and emotionally. She is sensitive to their feelings, offering closeness, understanding, and quiet support.
Loyal and devoted, the ISFJ mother has a strong sense of duty and consistently puts her children’s needs first. She delights in taking care of the little things that matter to a child, making each one feel loved and special.
To provide her family with security and warmth, the ISFJ mother tends to the practical and domestic, aiming for a smooth-running household and an attractive home. She also observes and conveys the value and importance of family traditions.

A lot of this is true and I'll be blunt, some is not. I am firm believer in not being my child's friend. My kids can go down the street and find a friend. I am a mother. I am here for guidance and support. It is important for them to see the big picture and feel the consequences of a mistake. Yes, I do want to always be a haven for them but I think there are times they need to fail in order to be a real success. My best example of these points would be Miley and a recent history test. Miley attends a school that pushes lots of memorization for the grammar school years. She has a list of some historical events and dates she needs to memorize (building up to almost 40 events by then end of the year). Usually before the test, she writes out all the dates, then she does a 'puzzle' with the events and dates, and then she takes a mock quiz from me. One time, Miley told me she already knew it and did not need to study in my fashion. I knew she had a pretty good grade at this point so I told her she could do all the studying on her own on one condition. If she got below an 80, she would have to study my way no complaining allowed. On test day, I resisted every temptation to orally quiz her on the drive to school. And when I picked her up, I didn't even have to ask how she did--it was on her face. A 62--that is a low D, almost failing. A hard pill to swallow for a girl who usually aces the timeline tests.  A friend would not have let her fail, she would have done everything in her power to help, no matter what, to make her friend happy. I am not her friend.  I wanted Miley to know you need to work hard to succeed--you don't just get an A for showing up. Yes, I still hugged her and wiped the tears over the test, but now she takes studying seriously (at least she did for the rest of this year!). 

18 comments:

Nicole (SAHM Ramblings) said...

That's awesome that you are a mom first and a friend second. So many parents are too worried about being liked to actually discipline. As for her 62... that's a great way for her to learn that sometimes you do things to help, even if she doesn't like it.

Kudos!

mah-meeee said...

Good for you! You let her try things out her way, to learn, and yet to be there to help guide her to the correct path.

ps. Ash can totally do yoga with you! I had her try doing yoga on Wii Fit and she loves it! (However she has trouble holding the tree pose without eventually swaying and falling sideways. LOL.

Happy Wednesday!

Amanda said...

Thats a good lesson learned!
Thats quite tough having to memorize all those dates, i would struggle. Hope she wasn't upset for too long.

Love Amanda x

Anglophile Football Fanatic said...

Good for you. You've gotta let them learn. I'm also a believer in being a parent and not a friend. If you are a good parent to them, they'll want to be your friend when they are adults.

JCK said...

You are a great mom. Period. :) Love how you mother your kids. You should be the one writing a book!

I'm not big on the "friend to your child" thing either.

Leigh said...

I am right with you in the difference between a friend and a parent. Couldn't agree more!

OHmommy said...

Heeheee...I am the same type of mom. ;)

Brian and Staci said...

I'm off to take the test right now! Sometimes, you just gotta let them learn the hard way! It's sooo hard to do though :(

Motherhood for Dummies said...

good for you!

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

You are so right to let them stumble and fall--never letting them make mistakes is not good parenting.

I took the quiz and laughed out loud--this statement is soooo true.

“We’re the mothers you like to carpool with. Not only are we on time, we organize the driving schedule for everyone.”

McMommy said...

That quiz is sure making the rounds in Bloggywood, isn't it??

I think it's a great lesson that you taught your daughter...and one she surely won't forget!

Elaine A. said...

Oooh, that's gonna be hard for me to do someday, but you handled it right. Good lesson learned.

Tranny Head said...

I just took the quiz and got "ENTP - The Independence Mother" which says: “When I held my babies, I always faced them outward so they could take in the world.”


Full of energy and confident in her own self-sufficiency and competence, the ENTP mother encourages her children—as a role model and as a teacher—to be independent and confident on their own in the world.
A “big picture” person, she points out options and possibilities along the way. Objective and logical as well, the ENTP wants her children to evaluate their choices and learn from the consequences of their own decisions.
The ENTP mother is resourceful and action-oriented. She likes going places and doing things with her children, exploring all that life has to offer. She is less concerned with rules, routines, and schedules. Introducing her children to new concepts and activities, challenging them, and stimulating their intellectual development are top priorities.

That sounds exactly right for me.

just jamie said...

I took that quiz a few days ago and got the same thing as Jenn @ Juggling Life. I'm the bossy organized type.

I love the lesson learned thing. Way to go!

KC said...

What a great quiz.. I had never seen it before.. I just took it and will post it sometime in the next few days on my blog.. But I was a ESFP

Janne said...

I found the quiz at KC's blog and took it. I am the ESTJ —The “How-To” Mother. :)

Purple Teacup said...

I knew I liked you.

virginia said...

Itotally agree that we need to be parents first,and not be afraid to have our kids angry with us if it is what we know is right.