Is this karma?

Note: If you see me as a confident, caring, sweet, mom and want to continue to see me this way--skip this post and read one of my older ones. This post shows what a true nutcase I can be.

Our sermon yesterday was about lying--and this includes false flattery, gossip and just not being completely honest. I have to confess. I hold occasional grudges against some moms. Moms who bring snotty kids out in public. I even left a play group because of one mom who managed to bring a constant snotty son to our group every week. I was sick of being rude and snatching my daughter away from her son and I was not comfortable with the smugness I felt as I got a desperate call from the mom whose child played with the boy asking what natural things helped a horrible cough. I do not like that side of me and as a past post explains, I am trying hard to fight this.

So late last week, Spanky had his first major illness after joining the gym. He was throwing up, everywhere. I reeked, our bed sheets reeked, the house. reeked. badly. I did the 'right' thing; the thing I expect every mom to do. I stayed home. I say I do it because 1. I don't want to get other kids sick and 2. When a child is sick, they catch just about anything they come into contact with because immunity is busy fighting their current virus (see how much thought I put into this). But wait--let's be honest, there is a reason number 3. I do not want other moms to judge me the  way I have judged them. I don't want to be that mommy with the sick kids. I'd rather be the mommy who was once a Hooters girl and poised for Playboy (hey, at least we'd have a solid savings account). 

Fast forward to this morning--Miley has ballet workshop--her very pricey $45 a day ballet intensive workshop. She has a sore throat. She is tired. I have already skipped the gym--don't want her to catch something else or share it with the other kids--right?! But I am sitting her thinking, she needs to go to workshop. It is not every day--just a few days a week for three weeks. I also need to get out of this house. If I spend one more moment on this slightly reeking couch watching Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew (and pausing every other minute for a 'funny' pose), I am may very well stat pulling out my toenails. 

Overall Miley seems OK--she is eating, talking, laughing. She just isn't moving around as much. She gives me sad looks and tells me she can barely talk. No fever, no snot, no cough. Just a sore throat. I am telling myself, she will be fine. But what if she has the nasty sore throat I had a few weeks back. It was terrible and I would be terrible to send her out. And then there's the whole karma thing--what if she catches something even worse or gets all her friends ill? 

It's my sanity versus my illness fears. I don't know what I am going to do at this point.