Thursday, July 24, 2008

Coming Out

Since this is apparently confession week for me, I am debating on showing my real self to my 'flesh and blood' friends. For years they have seen me as a busy, kind of dingy mommy who dotes on her kids and loves her husband. But last December, something happened and I have changed. 

I started a blog.

My original and current intent of blogging is to work out emotions, creativity and have a a record of my days as a mom with young children--I know there are things I have already forgotten with my kids, I don't want to forget anymore. I made a very conscience to decision to keep the people I hung out with, conversed with and prayed with out of my new world. I continued life as usual but always thinking in the back of my head, I am so blogging about this heehee.

I did not expect to meet people on my bog. To be honest, I didn't even get the whole commenting thing until I started getting comments from people I never met and then, then I would read these new blogs and I felt a peculiar closeness and bond with the words and the author. The blogging community became more than text and photos but 'flesh and blood'.

A few months ago, I even met some bloggers in our area and it was fun. They were real breathing women, not lonely ax murders looking for their next victim. I liked them and I hope they liked me. The line of bloggy friends and 'face' friends was permanently blurred.

Now I cannot imagine going more than couple days with reaching out to the blogging world. It has become a part of my life. A much bigger part than I ever expected. I feel your joy and sadness, your laughter and tears with every bit of my heart--just like friends I see on a daily basis.

I have opened my heart and shared with my new friends almost as much as my 'face' friends. And now I feel like I am betraying my face friends. How can I tell the whole world via posts about how I  but can't talk to my friends and family? it just doesn't feel right. It feels like I am hiding a part of myself to some of the greatest people out there--my friends and family.

So I want to share my blog with my 'real' world. I know in my heart they will always accept me. I guess my biggest fear is that I worry what they might think of certain things and I might begin to edit my blog to make myself look good always, no matter what. And that is not my blog.

But I do want to share with my 'face' friends. I will never forget a conversation I had with a friend and we discovered with both felt the same about a political topic (politics are not something I will discuss on this blog as I have bloggy friends from both sides of the aisle, and well I am not writing a political blog). In a weird way, this issue brought us closer. So maybe my writing can open and share some issues with both my bloggy friends and my 'face' friends.

And now I'd like to ask bloggy friends--do you share your blog with friends? How did you tell them? Has your writing changed since the 'real world' found out? This inquiring blogger wants to know.

Thank you!!!


mah-meeee said...

i do share my blogs with my 'face friends.' however i'm not sure whether they actually read it or not, since most of them do not comment on my blog.

however i don't share my blog with my parents or parents in law. i don't want to have to deal with them freaking out about me sharing too much of my life with the unknown world that might be reading my blog.

lisa, you have an awesome blog and never negative. i'm sure all your face friends will still continue to love you if not even more!

Anonymous said...

hi lisa... thanks for sharing your blog with me... i have learned so many new things about you that I never knew... keep blogging and being honest.

your sister

Amanda said...

I have made lots of 'friends' through the world of blogging. I would love to meet some of these lovely ladies too. You are lucky you have.
Amanda x

Anglophile Football Fanatic said...

A few of my IRL friends know about my blog. I think some of them saw a totally different side of me. But, as for family, I was stupid & newly blogging when I told my BIL & SIL. BIL adores his parents- & you know I DO NOT! This has made me being honest about them hard, because he's so protective of them. And, SIL has been trying to get pregnant for years & it is not going to happen. Everybody knows this but her - and I've been waiting for her to accept that before I try. I'm running out of time to try again & I know if I get pg quickly, she'll be devastated. If I had it to do again? I would so not have told them.

Texan Mama said...

Hi Lisa. I just started blogging last month but the women I have met online are nice and supportive. However I don't know if they are really my "friends". My real friends know the true me. I don't have to try to be funny, I don't have to say the right words. I know how My real friends feel about me without them saying anything (or making a comment). Even though my post is very much anonymous and vague, I still hold back. I don't talk about religion (extremely important to me) or my deep-down secrets. I would NEVER bad-talk my husband because although at times he frustrates me I just don't think that's the way to keep a marriage strong. (somtimes I think talking down about one's husband is not only acceptable, it's encouraged or else you're "in denial"). No one - family, friends, etc) that I know in real life knows of my blog. It's just more fun that way. More theraputic. Like drinking too much and using that as an excuse to say what's REALLY on your mind.

Texan Mama said...

Oh, plus in real life I am more censored on what I say when I speak to people. I try to give them the benefit of the doubt, etc. Online I can just say that I HATE THAT or THAT PERSON"S AN IDIOT etc. I hope that my real life persona is more like the real me and the online persona is more like the obnoxious me getting a chance to hog the limelight.

Texan Mama said...

Okay sorry I keep commenting but it just came to me what the difference is (for me): I hold myself accountable to my real life friends. I do not consider myself accountable to online people. That's it.

Jackie @ Our Moments Our Memories said...

Lisa, I think I know exactly how you feel. I almost feel sometimes that I am juggling two different lives...which is weird because I feel that I'm the same person on my blog that I am in real life. My best friend reads my blog, as does my immediate family, but I have other friends and extended family that I wouldn't necessarily want to be reading.

Elizabeth said...

there are times when having friends who know your blog address is great b/c they are kindred...but I took have worried...what will "so and so" think or I know she doesn't agree with this, "will she think I'm purposly blogging against her?" But when it boils down to just gotta be authentic! Be authentically who God made you to be.

It is a struggle for me EVERY POST to do this. And I still many times polish it up like a pretty penny. Not just spelling or grammar (b/c I know I get that wrong sometimes) but content...I just many time do feel the need to please everyone...but it's just not possible.

If you are authentically who God made you to be...and always striving to become more like Him. You'll be fine.

EatPlayLove said...

My face friends do read my blog, but many don't comment. I actually inspired about 4 friends to start their own blogs.

I've been going through some things with friends lately and wanted to blog about it generically, but refrained. I also have to censor myself when it comes to family, which bums me out!

I've also met a few great blogging friends! I'm enjoying getting to know you as well!
smiles- Denise

Brittany said...

I do share it, but not all of them get the whole blog thing, so they don't read all the time, but the ones that do love it. They can keep up with me even if we go days without phone calls.

Lizz @ Yes, and So is My Heart said...

I've slowly begun to share my blog. There are still friends I've yet to share my blog with, but they've asked. Slowly, I'm sure I'll oblige. I feel I don't write anything that isn't me, so I suppose I shouldn't feel shy about sharing it with anyone.

Elaine A. said...

Well, my family and "face" friends were the ONLY ones who knew about my blog for quite a while. I used to send them emails when I would update once a week or so. Boy have things changed! "Blogging" has infiltrated my real life WAY more than I ever thought it would.

Now, I still post about the boys (obviously) so family & friends can see them and know what's going and to keep a "journal" of their doings. But, I also post more for my fellow bloggers as well.

It really is pretty crazy how much of a part of your life it becomes.

Hope to see you soon Lisa! : )

Elizabeth said...

FEEL GOOD FRIDAY is up at my place. :-) hope you join in. :-)

Carol said...

Once I got into the swing of blogging I sent a link to all my face friends by email. Mostly they never even took a second to check it out but others read but never comment. I don't think they fully get why I blog, why I would want strangers reading my innermost thoughts etc. But then most of my closer friends havent even got on board with email yet.

I love your blog though and I am sure your face friends will too.

Chelle said...

I did let my friends know about my blog, but they rarely visit it. I made the mistake of giving the site name to the in-laws. But they never visit it--although my sister in law does. I wish I never gave it to them, honestly, because I would never run out of blog material! Sad, isn't it?
Happy POW!

HRH said...

This is a hard one for me. My whole family has read my blog since day one. I made a conscious decision to include them which has limited my subject matter and made me a kinder, gentler blogger. But my real life friends mostly know, but some read and some don't. I just never know when I make a new friend when I should share that "I post my whole life on the internet for strangers who I now call my friends to laugh at". When do you work that into the conversation?

What has been nice is that several of my college friends who I haven't seen in 20 years now read and it has reunited us via email and comments which is really fun.

Simply Shannon said...

I was just considering doing a post about this very topic. I guess now I'll have to follow through with it.

Susan said...

I started my blog for a creative outlet and to help my family "keep in touch" with us and the kids. As soon as I started it I emailed family and friends telling them about it. Much of my family and a few friends read it, which is good and bad.
I have found the blogging community to be very supportive and good at offering advice, which I would love to utilize with some difficult situations, but unfortunately the difficult situations always involve family or friends and that leaves me unable to write about it without upsetting people. I doubt the one person(my sister-in-law)who causes the most problems ever reads it, but her parents do and I don't think they would appreciate me broadcasting to the "world" what kind of person she is, though they agree.

Mamasphere said...

I told all of my friends and family about my blog when I started, and only one friend and one family member care to read it. To tell you the truth, it really offended me in the beginning. Now I'm okay with it as I don't have to worry about offending THEM, lol.

Just be careful- depending on what kind of content you want to write about, letting people IRL know about your blog could stifle writing on certain topics.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Mamasphere. You might start censoring yourself for fear of offending someone.

McMommy said...

Yes, most of my friends know about my blog. They don't "get" it though. I think only 2 of them actually read it on a regular basis.

My feeling is....everything I discuss on my blog are things I would talk about with my friends. So I have no qualms about sharing it!

happy pow!