Someone was going to say it sooner or later

It finally happened last night.

"I've been watching him. I don't know if it's ADD or tourettes or just discipline, but I know something is wrong with him," a mom said looking at me.

She was talking about Dino.

Dino, my sweet lovable boy who seems to be a little delayed in almost everything but kindness. His gait is getting better, his speech is getting a little better. But he's still not up to snuff.

I know he's not. We've been to doctors. His special ed teachers don't know what it is. They think maybe dyspraxia, maybe mental cognition. The doctors think it might be the low muscle tone--that he will get better, it will just take longer and more work. I have asked about autism--every doctor and teacher has said no, not in the slightest. Some friends think he make have selective mutism because he has moments of perfectly clear conversation with me but very few other people.

I know because of the delays, he has confidence issues. We are trying to build him up. We have been blessed with this theater experience to have so many kids run up and hug him. His older sisters praise him constantly.

Things just aren't clicking.

He has had a few outbursts on stage because someone is out of place, and usually in his spot on stage, or his clothing gets messed up and he tries to fix it.

The other night when I was putting him to bed it took every bone in my body not to shake him and scream 'what is wrong with you?' but I held back, spoke to him. I did most the talking as his looked at me and nodded his head, occasionally whispering a quick response.

He does have a few friends at school. He laughs, he plays but rarely actually talks with them. It's more gestures and smiles.

I don't know what I should be doing to help him. I fear I am the reason he is having so many issues. I don't do enough with him. I don't give him the care and help he needs. I wish I could just wave a magic wand and he would be 'normal'.