A bottle of white, a bottle of red, perhaps a bottle of rose' instead

My girls and now my younger son attend a very unique school. They go to school two days a week, home school two days a week and go to extra curricular activities like art, PE, drama and speech one day a week. It's called cooperative teaching but I just call it half-homeschool. There are some really great things about this--I do not plan lessons, I don't pick out the curriculums, I don't give the tests (usually), I can take a very active role in their education, I can spend more time on problem areas, I can spend more time with them and I can get breaks. And there are some really crappy sides to it, like  we are on schedule--most home schoolers can go off on bunny trails or take time off for family events, like the birth of a child. We can't. The assigned work/review has to be done. And then of course there are times when I just don't feel like teach and I have to anyway.

But by far the crappiest side is orientation week--this week. I get to find sitters for the kids (the bright side) and then get bombarded with papers and lectures about what we need and how we are going to help the kids.  Every teacher is different.  Please don't get me wrong--the teachers are great; they are just so thorough that it is overwhelming. I am that mom struggling to write down every word even though I know they will have grace periods/reminders for incorrect headings, not every kid will remember every supply, and the first week is designed to deal with all the new 'rules'.  But I don't want to get it wrong, at all. I do not want to make a single mistake, ever. So I start to panic the Sunday before orientation week. I can't sleep. I worry I am missing something--school supplies, uniform pieces, textbooks, my mind.... I start to worry about the review I did with the kids over the summer, well actually the lack of review.  I panic the first day of school the teacher will pass out work and my kids will look at it like it's Chinese. 

And my panic turns to stress and we all know what a stressed mommy makes a house. Our entire world is in sudden chaos right now. I have a ZIT. I do not get zits. But I have a zit. This is how stressed I am. After my first orientation meeting, I came home ordered a pizza and popped open a Shiner Bock ( and I am not a beer drinker). Then for breakfast--the kids had left over pizza. They have never had this but I am a wreck. And for right now I don't think I care. I need to know what needs to be in the school supply box--and I do not want to forget, anything.

And after I confirm I have everything, I begin to panic about the new year. What if my kids just don't get this? What if I am crappy teacher on this subject? What if I lose my cool like the time last year, I got so frustrated with Miley I broke a pencil in half while writing out steps to her missed math problem on the paper, or I get so annoyed with Sara's whining about her math drill that I have to go to my room, slam my door and scream in a pillow? What if I go nuts and just run out of the house naked and screaming? It could happen, really.

I feel I need a plan to make the year perfect. Every year, we get tips to make this the best year ever--add fun learning games, be sure to include exercise, be CONSISTENT. I usually write schedule after schedule or make rewards like the treasure box. I try and strive to be consistent but the fact is we are a family of 6. There are always hurdles and roadblocks, no matter what I do.  So this year, I panic and try to think of what to do. A morning bike ride as a break with Spanky in the stroller (I'll run), a schedule that imitates the school one, earned lunch outings, the treasure box (that one actually works), but this year I might add something different. I am thinking a weekly, maybe daily trip to the wine shop might make this the best school year ever :)

So I do this just about every weekday at five

I prep dinner and I turn on Malcolm in the Middle. I'm not sure how it started. I always thought the show was funny but not funny enough to watch like everyday. 

Yet after dealing with fighting, whining, boo-boos, feeding starving children and keeping the home from being condemned by the Board of Health, the 3o minutes get me through the day. It's gotten to the point if we are out around 4:15, I start getting everyone ready to go home so I can catch my show--even though I am pretty sure I have seen every single episode twice now.

And then when it's over, I get that second wind. Like I handle the next few hours til bed time. It's my Malcolm in the Middle Magic.

So I'm wondering if I am alone here. Do any of you moms reach the end of your rope around 5 everyday? If so, what do you do when you need to wind down?

And if you need a quick break from it all. Watch this. Now. Seriously.

If I were a robot, I'd be short circuiting

Lots of stuff going on right now. I am still trying to get hair pieces and tutus in order for next week's performance, Spanky has been screaming pretty much non-stop, Miley is in the midst of math tutoring and Dino is having  A LOT of evaluations for next school year (I plan to talk about this more later, right now it's just a very emotional subject for me). So anyway little things are slipping from my attention.

I had been typing comments with a half chewed Luna bar in my hand. Spanky just walked by, put it in my hand and have not really noticed. Miley asked if I was a dish now. I looked at the bar and shrugged. She came over and took it out of my hand and threw it out mumbling how I shouldn't let the baby do that. I can honestly say I did not even notice.

Yesterday in the car, I fought to get Spanky in his car seat, scrunching up his legs to the seat. Sara asked when we would be able to switch his car seat to forward facing, his second birthday? He is 21 months old. I honestly forgot to flip him around.

The only thing Dino will wear is a long sleeved Crew Cuts blue shirt and Crew Cuts distressed blue jeans. The blue jeans now show (all) his underwear they are so distressed. And it's reaching a 100 degrees. He is wearing both items today. 

Sara had a play date for the same time as Dino's evaluation at the school. I had every intention of calling.....right in the middle of the evaluation, the room is filled with the sound of Bare Naked Ladies (my ring tone) and she calls to say she is standing in front of our house.

It might seriously be time for some brain surgery :0

Just when I thought I could not go lower

I love to cook. I enjoy making things from scratch. It is an amazing stress reliever for me--my husband knows I have had a bad day if he smells cookies in the oven or a complicated stew simmering. Yet, ironically, when I get insanely busy and obviously stressed, I reach for whatever I can find to feed my family.
At the beginning of the school year, I made sure my lovely children had a full balanced lunch--fresh veggies, paninis with all sorts of good-for-you yummy stuff--and then I slowly started to slip. It started with the frozen spinach walnut tortellini; I made sure to still make a fresh butter based sauce and a pretty parsley garnish. Then I discovered jarred pesto (side note: I love making my own pesto--easy and cheap yet I bought the jarred) and began to spoon this over the tortellini and the parsley was left out. And the kids LOVED it. They thought it was just yummy! Last week, I emptied the dishwasher while the tortellini was boiling. I did not want to dirty a bunch of plates so I used paper plates from a Valentine's Day party. The kids found it festive and I felt I could not go any lower. Until today.
Today was insane--tests, speeches, memory verses. I thought I was reliving college finals week. By the time the inevitable question 'what's for lunch?' was asked, I was drained. And then I sunk to a brand new low. I picked up the phone, texted my husband.
"Pizza 4 lunch"
"Sure" was the swift reply.
I texted back an order and 35 minutes later we had pizza from a local pizzeria on our table. And here's the ultimate low--because we all had personal, lovely, artistic pizzas, we all had out own box. And, blushing, these were our plates.
Don't want to waste those paper plates after all ;)