Sunday, September 20, 2009

My sarcastic side sneaking out

I try really hard not to ever be sarcastic in real life. I tend to have a poker face and people tend to think I am truly serious when I suggest to friends we let our kids fend for themselves in a car while we go drink tequila. I get some mean glares.

So I limit my sarcastic side to my laptop.

She pops out when I read certain things on the internet. She tends to love questions from new or almost new moms, esp. ones like this:

I am looking for a safe car seat. I know there are many out there but I want to the safest one made because this baby is very important to us and I don't want her to get hurt in a car accident.

(sarcastic me) Safety of our newborn is not a big deal. We are more into the look of the car seat. And if she gets hurt, at least she'll look good. But then our baby is not as important to us.

There are lots of 'safety' requests from the new moms. I am not sure if they think they are the first to truly love their children and want to keep them safe or if they are certain no one else has really considered safety. News flash--every mom loves their children and every mom wants to keep them as safe as humanly possible.

Then there's food.....

I am making dinner for friends and it has to be really good. I need something they will really like.

(sarcastic me) Shoot, I was going to post a recipe that people feed the dog and vomit for hours after eating but since you want to make something people actually enjoy, I'll share this....

It's stating the obvious. Of course you want to make something yummy. Duh.

Finally, education.

We are looking at schools and I want to find one that will make our child a success. I don't want the minimum. I want the best so he can be his best.

(sarcastic me) Oh we want our son to be average for his whole life. We use the phrase 'good enough for government work' daily to inspire him to reach as far as he is comfortable.

Again--the obvious. What parent does want her child to reach his full potential and have a successful life. We all do.

So there's my snippy side. A little ugly, a little rude but it's just a part of me I share with my laptop---OK maybe a little with the TV too. Yeah, I'm talking to you competitive reality stars of Amazing Race and Survivor who hate to lose--and tell us you hate to lose every chance you get. (What I would not give to be on Amazing Race and say 'I keep getting in first place and I hate it because I just feel better when I lose. I'm just not a competitive person yet I'm on this competitive show.......')


Burgh Baby said...

You aren't the only one. Not by a long shot . . .

Anti-Supermom said...

Well, Lisa. I *thought* you had a little bit of this in you, I'm happy to see that it's true.

A comedian use to say 'logic + dumb... = the funny stuff'. Isn't that the truth.

Tyne said...

You're a funny lady. I like the sarcastic side...

Susan said...

That's pretty funny!

dani said...

lol, lisa, i have to keep my sarcasm "tucked in", too:P kindred spirits are we!!!
much love,
dani xxxxxx